Free from Known

We went to Adyashanti's satsang.  He is my favorite teacher.
He talked about how the mind hold illutionary fact and make up stories.  We almost never see things as they are.  We always make stories about whatever we see.  We are living in stories we make up all the time.  We think we know ourselves and people who are very close to us, but everything is just based on data we have received in the past.  It is our mind's creation. 

Life Purpose

I asked a question to Robert Sheinfeld the other day.  If we are part of Consciousness (what he calls, True Creative Essence), is there such a thing as life purpose or life mission exist in our life?
He tweeted a message today, which says;

You WILL do whatever you're meant to do to fulfill your life purpose whether you're consicously aware of your purpose in life or not.

Go with the Flow

I am getting to know little by little that there is no so to speak individual "me" and "I" am part of  Consciousness.  The beliefs, social norms, rules, cultures, educations, ... in this physical "illusionary" world almost all may be sort of against our true nature.

What Happiness Means

It is a so banal question.  What does happiness mean?
I re-realized it when I watched Robert Sheinfeld's video.  People want more money, more material things, good job, good fame or reputation, good relationships ... endless.  Why?  Ultimately, because we all want to be happy.  More money means more power to buy anything we want, which can surely satisfy our desire.  We believe such satisfaction means happiness.  Whenever we chase that kind of satisfaction, we could never be fully satisfied with our life, though. 

Living Effortlessly

Joel and I sometime have a talk about "effortless."
How is the state of living effortlessly?  Effortless doesn't mean that we don't make any effort at all.  If we do something we are really interested in or are inspired about, we don't feel we are making any effort.  We just do it.  On the other hand, when we have to make efforts to do something that we don't really want to do or are not very interested in, we really need to push ourselves to complete the task.  In that case, it does involve focused effort.

Games everywhere

Since I read Robert Scheinfeld's book and started his online course, I get to see everything as Human Game. 
In my job I just started, I am reviewing business documents like sales strategy, competitions, negotiations on deals, ...etc.  People on the documents are at higher positions in companies, and they play important roles in their business. 
They devote their lives on the business, but now from my viewpoints, they are controlled by the business game.  They never know their lives are controlled...
Almost all successful business people should never know they are in the Human Game.  They should be too busy to take a moment to contemplate who really they are...

Where is the humanity?

We went to a satsang of Jac O'Keafe last night.
I was surprised to see her.  She is a young lady (20s), doesn't look like a typical spiritual teacher.  The way she speaks doesn't like a spiritual teacher, either.She is very sharp and clear, and talks very confidently and is forward with her answer.  I believe she got enlightened, but I couldn't feel profound energy from her.
What she was teaching has a lot of similarity to Robert Scheifeld's.  She often uses the word "movie" for the reality where we are living, just like a hologram that Robert uses.
She emphasized there is no "I" and big consciousness is just there.  Everything is just happening.  No context.  No concept.  Any concept is intellectual creation of our mind. 

Dissociation between True Self and separate self

Joel provided me a very interesting topic this morning, "Spiritual path can be a bypass of psychological problems?", which made me think if spiritual seeking can be escape from the "reality."
Many people tend to get into a spiritual seeking because they have so much pain and suffering in their real life.  It could be relationship issues, mental sickness, failure of work, or whatever.
The concept that "I" am not this small "me" who is suffering from any problem, but "I" am far bigger than this ego, our True Self is Consciousness, Awareness, Oneness, and Creator Itself could rescue us from suffering, denying or dumping our small self or ego.  Because I don't like it, "I" don't want to identify "myself" with that.  In that way, we "escape" from identifying ourselves with this individual self, because we don't want to admit that the imperfect individual self exists.

Deep acceptance

Joel and I went to a satsang of Jeff Foster last night.
He kept talking about deep acceptance, using a metaphor of the ocean and waves.  Just like waves on the ocean, variety of emotions or incidents could arrise, but without discriminating something unfavorable or uncomfortable from the others, just accept everything as it is.  Without judging it, just accept it.
I see similarity everywhere, though words used are different.

Just as it is

Everything is supposed to be simple, beautiful, and perfect just as it is.  Once we go against the natural state or flow, that is, how it should be, distortion occurs, which causes problem or suffering.  Distortion is rationalized by any kind of belief and concepts, and we believe the distortion is the mainstream of our life.
We totally forget the truly natural state.  That's the world where we live, I think.

Simple is not easy

Spiritual teachers say it is simple.  Just be aware.  Be in a moment. 
Aikido sensei says it is simple.  Technique is from simple and natural movements of the body.
But, simple doesn't mean easy.  We have been trained how we make and see things complicated since we were kids.  Everything is not supposed to be that simple. 
The nature is simple, then we don't know how we can be simple like the nature. 
We need to take off a lot of coats that we have kept layering for years.  Some coats are so heavy that we can't easily take them off.
Just like an onion, when we keep peeling the skin, we reach the core and then nothing.
Peeling onion skins makes us cry!

Stop searching

I went to Gangaji's satsang with Joel yesterday. She is really a celebrity.  There were about 250 people.  10 min meditation, 30-40 min talk, and 40-45 min dialogues with the audience.

She said, stop searching.  It is already there. When we stop searching, we see there.
Interestingly, I was told exactly the same thing from the co-organizer of the event during setting up that we were helping with as volunteers.  He said, I already have the direct experience.  My mind just doesn't want to admit it.  My mind has a preexisting concept based on others' talk or experiences, and I am looking for something that my mind expects.  I already have it.  So, stop searching. 
Hmmmm.  Have I had the direct experience already??
Maybe, I should stop having an urge to search?

Goal of the Human Game in this lifetime?

I don't know if there is supposed to be a goal in each life, but I was wondering what it could be for my life this time.
I have been learning a lot of things for the last a few months.  Actually, I think the learning curve got so steep since 2012 started.  I feel it did accelerate.  Maybe, it is because it is really the transitional period of the Earth now.
No matter what, I want to get out from the Human Game.  I want to live my life, being out of the game, even though I am living in the Human Game as long as I have this human body.  I want to experience everything in the world, being out of the game. 

What is enlightenment??

Someone I met at the spiritual discussion group of meetup Joel started said that there is not such a thing as enlightenment exist.  He has been in the spiritual path for 35 years or something, and obviously he knows a lot and has very profound understanding on spiritual stuff with actual experiences.  He said enlightened teachers out there (as they claimed) are not real.  There is no such a teacher.

Enjoy being a player in the game

We all are players in the Human Game, whether or not each of us recognize us as a player.  Just like a video game, just enjoy the game fully as a game whatever incidents happens.  Each experience itself is meaningful and valuable.  Just don't become preoccupied with a drama in each experience too much, forgetting it is a whole game. 

Who is playing this game? 
Our true self.  Consciousness.  Awareness.  Oneness. 
No separation exists there, nor division, nor labeling, nor conditioning does.  Everything and nothingness just be there.

I understand it, but the question is how I can Experience it...

Drama, drama, and drama created by Mind Machine

Everything is just happening.  Emotions are just energy in motion.  However, whatever happens, we create a drama attaching to such a simple happening or a fact, using our Mind Machine and Emotion Machine.
If we didn't have such Mind Machine and Emotion Machine working, we could just see everything simply arising and fading away.
Suffering or discomfort results from such dramas we create by ourselves.
We are experiencing variety of dramas in our life, but they all are our mind's creation.
If we could shut up Mind Machine, we could see everything just as it is, not judging good or bad, positive or negative.  Then, everything should look just beautiful, I guess...

Lots of discomfort

I have been trying to do the process of Phase 2 to get out from the money game in this illusionary world, according to Robert Scheinfeld's book, "Busting Loose from the Money Game." 
The book says we may encounter a lot of discomfort when we start it.
I am experiencing it.  Discomfort comes from several sources, like work and financial stuff, but the point is that I am not content with the current life and myself at this moment, which I know is totally an idea in Phase 1 level.
I got discomfort from even spiritual teaching!

Teaching in Phase 1

Joel and I went to the lecture of Lama Surya Das, Tibetan Buddhism Priest, last night.  He talked about "Living in Buddha Standard Time: It's Not Time We Lack but Focus."
He didn't look like a priest, but just like a typical American big guy.  Loud and humorous.  His book is a best seller, and he is called as American Dalai Lama!
The content of his teaching was really for general public, not spiritual seekers.  He talked about "living in the present moment, focusing on NOW," and "mindfulness."  Time is subjective, not objective.  It is sometimes very fast, and sometimes very slow.  It was very basic stuff, and was a little boring.  I couldn't even agree to some things he said, yet I took away some good words, like "pain is inevitable in our life, but suffering is optional."

Totally out of social value

When we really See the Truth and live in the Truth, I think we would live totally out of social norms and social value, because almost everything that almost everyone regards as important or essential doesn't make sense.
The life itself is just a game to experience and learn something for spiritual growth.  It is totally illusion and hologram.

Proactive vs. Reactive

Proactive actions are always regarded as very good in our life, which we have been taught and learned.  Proactive person usually makes a success of business.  Proactive implies thinking of the future, planning the future and preparing for the future.  So, Mind Machine works hard in proactive actions. 
We believe that is one of the important elements for "success." 

However, it is really something important for the Human Game in Phase 1 level.  Is it so in the absolute Truth?

Limitations

When I was meditating after chanting this morning, one idea came to me.  It is based on what I learned from Robert Scheinfeld.  In the Human Game, Phase 1, the rule is each one of us is supposed to be an opposite being to our true self, that is, Infinite Being, as a player.  So, we all need to have any kinds of limitations, body, mind, emotions, materialistic things, money, ability to do something, human relationships, whatever.  Everything we have been experiencing in this physical world is limitation. 

Explanation about Enlightenment in Shingon way

Joel and I went to see Fukuda Sensei of Sacramento Koyasan Temple today.
The explanation about enlightenment in Shingon Buddhism way Sensei gave was interesting.  He used a metaphor of the computer.  Small self as "me" including ego and any characteristics of "me" is something like compilation of software applications.  Each application is in memory that originates from all the past lives, which contains a lot of karmatic relations.  Emptiness is the state of DOS before any applications start up.  It is just a blackout screen.
Enlightenment is the state where we understand the whole system of the Universe. 

Groundhog Day

What if we had no tomorrow, and just kept having today the same day over and over?

This movie is recommended by Robert and Garret, and I understood the reason.
One day in the movie could be just like one life.  We create one day or one life by our own intention.  It is the hologram we create.

Awakened one or Hermit

The world is just a hologram and the game, then why do we have to be too serious about this illusionary life?  Why do we have to be controlled by the social norms?  Why do we care about other's view?

Sure, we can enjoy this game, but then we could quit the game too?

Everything exists only in each own hologram, but...

I am getting to acknowledge everything in this world is my mind's creation in my hologram, but there is one thing that it is hard to detach.  People's death, especially very close ones.  Nothing is an exception in the hologram, and nothing is real there.  However, it is impossible for those who lost a family member to understand that such death is part of their fictional reality.  It is not real. 

Don't attach to the illusionary reality, period.

Robert Scheifeld's "Busting Loose from the Money Game" explains a good point.  If we want to change the reality we are experiencing now, we are trapped by the hologram we are in because we see the hologram as real and we attach to it as real.

Body is a radar

Yesterday's Meetup gathering that Joel and Shawn organized was really good.  The dialogues were very profound.
I got very inspired by some words, and one of them is "Body is a radar."  We get emotions, sensations, feeling, and intuitions through the body.  Those things can be signs from our real self.  If we listen to the body very carefully, we can learn something important for ourselves without being disturbed by many kinds of thoughts or belief.

What is the most important in this lifetime?

Joel keeps teaching me DOING nothing, how to feel DOING nothing for a moment.
In this human game, we have to do something for our future, say, better future.  Reasons why parents always said that you should study hard were they believed or the whole society believed that it would make a good future for us.  Studying hard is for going to a good school.  Going to a good school is for getting a good job.  Getting a good job is for making good money and/or getting a stable life.  Getting good money and/or getting a stable life is for making us happy.
So, we always live to look for something in the future, and ultimately to look for happiness.

How to create "the future"

Here is what Kamihito teaches in his text.  Terry's course says very similar things, and I know there are many other to teach similar things.
How to create "the future"
1. Image the picture we wish
2. Write down or draw the wish
3. Decide what to do for it
4. Understand what to do
5. Tell people about the future we wish
6. Pray for it (Remind strongly ourselves about it)
7. Take necessary actions one by one
8. Experience the future realized in our mind.  (Act, imaging the future.)
9. The future we wish comes true!

Vanilla Sky

It is another movie Robert Scheinfeld recommends.  It was a very interesting movie.  If I saw it last year, I would have a totally different view on it.
The hero, David, (Tom Cruise) is going through many experiences, which almost made me confused, but at last every puzzle is revealed.  From certain point, everything happened in his dream.  It was his creation in his dream, not real.

Too dramatic drama

Dramas in our life are created by our Mind Machine.  Now I got a big question from Joel's recent experience.  Why are people caught in very intense dramatic dramas which others start and have nothing with our own intention?

Drama written and enacted by ourselves

Pack 2 of Robert Schenfeld's online course has arrived.  I've watch one of the 2 videos. 
Interestingly, it is a little related to what I have written in the last 2 posts.  It talks about how Mind Machine (what he calls) works.

See things just as they are

After I wrote the last post, I started to think of seeing things just as they are, eliminating any conditioning as much as possible.
It is so amazing that any aspects of the human life are based on conditioning.  Whatever it is, I guess everything we see is colored with so many paints, and it doesn't show how it just is. 

Lucky doesn't have a name.

My sweet wild squirrel, Lucky, came to the balcony a few times yesterday and came this morning for foods just as usual.  I always prepare nuts and sunflower seeds for his meals.
Yesterday, when I was out, he seemed to have come.  I could tell it because the balcony got a little messed with dirt.  Since he couldn't find foods, he ate a tulip bulb in my flower pot!  For him, it is not a flower bulb that can bloom beautifully later, but it is just something that he found in the soil and can fill his stomach with.  For him, the flower pot is not something to enjoy flowers, but just something with soil and plants. 

Gulp, gulp.  "I'm thirsty after eating lots of nuts." 

Unknown - 2 -

I got a good example about what "unknown" means to us in our mind.

For 1 year old babies, "unknown" implies ultimate potential.  They could be whatever they want to be in the future.
For 50 years old adults, "unknown" implies fear.  They don't have a solid planning for their future old age, which they are afraid that they are just breaking down from now on.

DOING nothing and Laziness

Adyashanti talks about "DOING nothing," not "doing nothing." 

Joel directed to me last week to have one DOING-nothing day to face with my inner self, and I had a half DOING-nothing day.  Actually, I tried to have it.  How difficult it was! 

Unknown

I remember what Joel taught me, willingness to accept "unknown."  That is really profound.

"Unknown" makes those who don't live in a present moment feel fear, because their focus is always on either the future or the past.  They are always interested in or concerned about the future, and try to prepare for anything possible for the future to make themselves feel content or to be released from worry.

Steve Jobs' Stanford Commencement Speech

I saw a Japanese TV program featuring Steve Jobs' very famous speech in 2005.  I have seen the speech before, but I didn't watch it carefully at that time.
It clicked me now. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1R-jKKp3NA

Your time is limited.
Don't waste it, living someone else life.
Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with results of other people's thinking.
Don't let the noise of others' opinion drown at your inner voice.
And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.  They somehow already know what you truly want to become.

City of Angels

I saw this movie which Robert recommends.  It was the second time.  I slept a little bit in the middle of the movie. 
I think the point there is we are born here because we need to experience all things we experience with a human body.  The purpose of the life as a human is to experience whatever it is.  We often label each experience and judge it as something like negative or positive, but maybe each experience is equally precious.  How nice we could feel everything just as so real, although it is just illusion and fiction that our mind creates. 
Let's enjoy every experience in the life whatever it is, because that is the meaning of the life as a human.

True Reality

I am still in the middle of reading Adyashanti's book "The End of Your World."  I just finished Chapter 3 out of 13 chapters.  That's damn great.
Reality is not something like a paradise, which I had imagined.  It is just Reality.
I am now getting to understand the meaning of "Looking, looking, looking," which Joel quoted John Sherman.  But, we can't usually look, because our eyes are so cloudy or we wear sunglasses fixated to the face almost permanently.

The Lathe of Heaven

I saw the movie, which is one of the movies Robert Scheinfeld recommends.  It is a movie for Phase 2 player.
The hero, George, has special power with which his dreams influence reality, though he can't control what kind of dreams he has.  He has a dream, and next morning he wakes up he sees that reality as the dream shows.  He is so afraid of dreaming, and got mentally ill.  A dream therapist whom George visits takes advantage of his ability and manipulates the hero's dreams for his own interest.  He used to be a humble therapist, but one day, he suddenly owns a huge institute with a gigantic fancy building.

I want only the Truth

Yesterday I sent an email to Terry to request refund for a half portion of his teaching course I have been taking.  (Actually, I haven't touched it for long time now, though.)  I feel bad a little about it, but if I keep the materials I would never use, it would be a waste.  So, I want to return the half which is really like new. 

Meditation is a sleeping pill

Every time I do meditation, I get sleepy and almost fall asleep, even when my body is not tired at all.  Feels like something prevents me from meditating! 
When I can stay "awake," then my mind machine always works so hard. 

Fear and Games...

There should be a lot of kinds of fear that prevents us from spiritual awakening. Joel asked me some times what would be my fear.
I have found one of the biggest fear I have.

My first post...Spiritual awakening, enlightenment, ...

I have heard and learned a lot about such things, and am still doing so. I believe that my understanding on it has been getting deeper and deeper, yet I have never experienced it. That makes me so frustrated now. Adyashanti says more and more people have been experiencing it lately. It used to be for only limited people, like ascetic monks in Zen temples or monasteries. It may also show that the Earth is now evolving into the next phase.